Let's Talk About Race

I haven’t seen anyone in the blog world mention their thoughts on the movie Django Unchained yet. Perhaps it’s because no one saw it. But that’s unlikely, because it’s one of the top movies in the box office and has been graced with some Oscar nominations. I supsect it’s more likely that no one wants to say anything about it even if they have seen it. In general, we tend to stay away from that scary subject. You know the one.

This is a condition that we all deal with in 2013. Not wanting to broach “that subject” because no one wants wrong things to be said or awkward moments to be had. Let me challenge you with this idea…

IT IS OKAY TO TALK ABOUT RACE.

IT IS GOOD TO TALK ABOUT RACE.

I could write novels on this subject, but since this is a weekend post on a food blog I will not bother to do so. 😉 I’m not here to preach to you, to tell you what you should be doing, or to teach or enlighten you. Not only would I be crappy at doing that, but you didn’t ask me to do so nor is it my job to do so. In case you haven’t noticed, I am indeed BLACK.

It’s shocking, I know. Try not to fall over in surprise. So my question to you is…if you perceive my race the instant that you see me, if the color of my skin is the first thing you would notice about me…WHY are we afraid to talk about it? I want to challenge you to go past the fear. Dare to be brave! You can do it. Because, in my humble opinion, the worst thing that anyone can do (no matter what your race) isn’t to say something “wrong” or “contreversial”, but to ignore the issue and pretend like it’s not happening at all. And that is precisely the plague of 2013 (and 2012, and 2011, and 2010, and…you get the idea), this era that some confused or maybe vision impaired individual labeled as “post-racial”.

 

And that, my friends, is why I loved Django. Even if I hadn’t liked the details of the movie itself (which I did), I am SO VERY GLAD that someone made a movie about slavery in 2013. So glad. Americans are experts at pretending like things never happened, and racial relations are a poster child for that fact. It’s not pretty, it’s not glamorous, but slavery happened. It was ugly, it was cruel, it was messy, and it effects each and every one of us (yes, you!). But it happened. It definitely happened. As much as everyone would love to believe that a couple hundred years later things are all good and settled, reality is far from that. Reality is messy, and so was Django.

Does messiness mean that we can’t progress? Of course not! I’m a 25-year-old black woman with a white husband that’s graduating this year to be an attorney, and so far nobody has tried to murder me, so obviously progress is possible. It’s easy to sit back and enjoy life as a white person and hope that no one puts you in the uncomfortable position of ever having to talk about race. But consider the fact that not talking about it does not change what it is. Consider the fact that many of us don’t have the luxury of not dealing with it. The only thing worse than a problem is a problem that everyone pretends isn’t there. If you want to see a movie that reminds us about the very politically incorrect truth, please go see Django. It’s not meant to be a documentary, and it never pretends to be. It’s just a good movie that deals with a difficult subject.

Go see this movie. And go on continuing to be awesome people. I believe in you! The optimist in me has to believe in you. Because many of you, like myself, are the next generation. We are the people who will be raising the generation after ours. What we say and what we believe matters. So be brave! Talk about it. It’s a good thing. I promise. You will not spontaneously combust.

I went through a period in my adolescence where I really resented America. I was so frustrated with everything that’s wrong with this country, and felt at times like I wanted to run away abroad somewhere and lead a life with more free and enlightened people as soon as I turned 18. Since then I’ve learned to really appreciate what is good and beautiful about all people, American or not. Racism is real, but so is love. Discrimination happens all the time, but so do acts of incredible kindness. We are not perfect, but we are not made to be.

Anyone who wants to is more than welcome to comment! I would love your thoughts on the movie if you have seen it, or your thoughts on anything at all.

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Lauren

15 Responses

  1. Stephanie
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    I’ll actually be watching Djando Unchained yet, but I’m looking forward to it so much more right now! It’s so mainstream not to discuss race that a friend of mine asked me why I was so obsessed with matters of race and culture. I’m from Miami and have an extensively mixed heritage due to my Caribbean decent. I’m often told I’m “too white” to be Cuban AND Dominican, so I must be lying about the Dominican part. Plus, there are so many cultures and races that it’s hard not to notice (and talk about) what’s in front of you. If we’re all books then skin color is only the cover- not reading them all is a great loss.

    I laugh every time my cousin and brother say, “I’m half-black.” Oh, you don’t say?! Many people react awkwardly as to maintain a perverse kind of political correctness. I guess it’s against the rules to say, “I’m white.” ??

    There’s been tons of progress, but it can’t continue until people re-start the discussions.

    • Lauren
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      I totally agree, the discussion needs to be re-started!

  2. Miranda @ Biting Life
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    Wow, what an amazing post. I definitely agree with you about everything that you said. Obviously I’m white, but I still can see that there are tons of issues regarding race in the world today — even though it’s 2013. I went to an all-white high school (well, we had 3 black students) and, until very recently (within the past 3-4 years), I’d never really talked to a black person before. I feel horrible saying that, but it’s not something that’s my fault, it’s just how my life happened. My state, Rhode Island, is mostly white and Hispanic. There are black people… but not many.

    Even though I’d be totally open to being friends with somebody who was black, that opportunity has just never been presented to me. My boyfriend thinks that my lack of exposure to black people is so weird, as he grew up with many black friends (but, he was also a football player — which is something he did that really made the likelihood that he would see or talk to a black person much greater).

    Anyway, I’m just saying that, yeah, this is a problem. The reason I wasn’t around black people is that they weren’t afforded the same opportunities as me (most black people in RI don’t grow up in nice neighborhoods, or have parents that hang out in the same social circles as mine do, or go to Catholic schools like I did). This is obviously a huge problem. Obviously, money has to a lot to do with that, which doesn’t always have to do with race — but a lot of times, it does, and people don’t pay attention to that (or, at least, not as much attention as they should).

    Also, I went to go see Django Unchained and I really, really liked it. But, if I’m being honest here, I kind of felt awkward that I liked it. Like… am I ALLOWED to like a movie about black people and slavery when I can probably count the amount of black people I’ve talked to in real life on two hands? That’s another problem with race. Race doesn’t just affect black people, it affects the white people, too (although, obviously, it’s not the same at all and is much much less for us).

    I applaud you for feeling comfortable enough with yourself to write a post like this. It really says a lot about you. I have a question for you, actually — Food blogging is a primarily white pastime. Do you ever find yourself feeling awkward or outcasted because of the fact that you are a black food blogger?

    • Lauren
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      I went to college just a little way from the RI border so I know just what you mean. Some of the people at my college treated me like an alien because they had just never interacted with a black person before. I think it’s a good thing that you recognize it! You can’t grow unless you’ve done that first. As far as blogging goes, I don’t feel awkward about it but I do feel a bit isolated at times and am very aware of the fact that I’m one of very few people of color doing this. It is what it is. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Miranda! 🙂

  3. Callie
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    Awesome post! I saw this movie a few weeks ago in Florida, which was cool since there was so much more diversity in the theater than there would have been where I’m from (NH or CT). I actually sat next to a black friend and had a black couple sitting on the other side of me, so I was even more aware of my race while watching the film. However, so many people were laughing and cheering at different parts in the movie, which felt good. I’m glad I had that experience.

    Love this post, this movie, and YOU!

    Xoxo Cal

    • Lauren
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      The theater we saw it in was really diverse too! I loved that! I love that its something that people of all races are interested in seeing. And I love YOU, too! 🙂

  4. Jebbica
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    I loved this line: ” I’m a 25-year-old black woman with a white husband that’s graduating this year to be an attorney, and so far nobody has tried to murder me, so obviously progress is possible.”

    I know that it happened, but I still feel like in this day and age, the color of your skin doesn’t matter that much. There are good people and bad people of every race. There are people who are insistent upon the perpetuation of stereotypes, and this keeps the stereotypes and hatred going. I don’t know if this will ever go away. But I am grateful that people in general seem to be a lot more tolerant than they used to be.

    • Lauren
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      Thanks for your comment! I’m really glad this is generating some discussion. 🙂 I can’t really agree with you that skin color doesn’t matter these days, but I do agree that tolerance has improved. I think that’s part of the problem though, so many people have grown to just “tolerate” and stay silent rather than embrace or really change. I’m very fortunate to be where I am, but 99% of the other people in my demographic aren’t so fortunate, and I think that’s really tragic.

  5. Nala-S
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    Hi Lauren,
    I applaude you for your post. It’s like a breath of fresh air. I haven’t seen Django but I’ve heard of it. After reading your post, I am going to watch it. I think what you highlighted in your post is really true: People ignore color or race as if it wasn’t there and that’s the problem now. Sometimes it’s often frustrating to experience or witness the discrimination going on here and everywhere around the world. I think an important way to progress is if we indeed all open up and talk about it, talk about our race, our experiences, our upbringing and how all this brings us together as human beings. Thanks for the great posts and keep the work up! =)

    • Lauren
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      Thanks for your comment! I hope you see the movie! Brace yourself from some pretty extreme violence in the film. I think that it’s good that the movie is violent, but I just wanted you to be warned! 🙂

  6. Kasey
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    I haven’t seen Django Unchained yet but it’s on my list of movies to see, especially before the Academy Awards! Thanks for sharing your opinion of the movie, and also your well reasoned and appropriately voiced thoughts on race.
    What made me want to comment, though, was this: “I went through a period in my adolescence where I really resented America. I was so frustrated with everything that’s wrong with this country, and felt at times like I wanted to run away abroad somewhere and lead a life with more free and enlightened people as soon as I turned 18. ”
    That makes me so sad. I’ve been in the US military for almost 9 years now, and I’ve lived in 3 countries (besides the US) on 2 different continents (besides North America) throughout my career. I get so frustrated when people say that they’d like to leave America to live with more “free and enlightened people” or assume that other countries have better race relations, because in my experience the opposite is actually true. I’ve never seen more blatant racism than what I saw while living in Europe. In actuality, many other parts of the world tend to be more homogeneous in race, so what an outsider may perceive as peaceful race relations is actually just a lack of meaningful diversity. While I agree that our nation has its faults, and our race situation is nowhere near perfect, the fact that we can have this discussion is what makes America great.

    • Lauren
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      When I got older I realized that what you’re saying is very true, and you have more authority to speak on it than I do since you’ve lived abroad! I realized years ago that race isn’t just an American problem, but it can still be challenging as an African American to live in a country with such complicated history and so many problems still effecting us. The “free and enlightened” comment was mostly sarcastic 🙂 , although I do think there are SO many ways in which a lot of other countries are more socially progressive than ours (re:gay marriage, health care, etc.). But still, I agree with you completely and feel blessed to live in a country with so many freedoms and opportunities, even if things are complicated.

      Also, THANK YOU for your service!

  7. Lauren
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    What refreshing topic to find on a food blog 🙂 I saw Django a couple weeks ago and honestly, while I love a good Tarantino film, I was kind of uncomfortable with all the violence against the slaves. I’m embarrassed that slavery occurred in the US but you’re right, avoiding the topic is nt going to get anyone anywhere.

    • Lauren
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      The violence was highly disturbing. I would be concerned if someone WASN’T uncomfortable watching it. But it was disturbing in a constructive way I think, if that’s possible…or at least it was provokative.

  8. Ali
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    I am hoping to see the movie soon. My brother and I were going to go and then we both started over-thinking it and getting frustrated with the fact that a white man created a movie about slavery that is so mainstream it makes everyone want to see it. It’s as though the topic has been revitalized or something and I guess I just had all these internal struggles as to whether I wanted to support someone like him (I’ve not been a fan at all of some of his politics and/or previous films, Kill Bill and Death Proof to name a couple…)

    Anyway, I am curious because of all of the discussion and yet saddened by the fact that this will be the only avenue through which some of the younger generation may be introduced to the fact that slavery existed. I also find it disturbing to think about an interview with Kerry Washington in which she discussed the “slave masks” and how she was unaware of that aspect of history until the movie. It’s frightening really to think that although the movie is not a documentary or history film that it is in fact, historically accurate in most (if not all?…) respects and that it took this film to introduce a black woman to some of the subtleties of that history. I’m not sure if I will see it but this has given me more to think about…